with your own penis?
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
