3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
