called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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