I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize