1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
