I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
