i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
