we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We just shotgunned beers for America
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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