Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
