Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize