I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
