Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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