whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
