Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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