That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize