Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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