Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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