and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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