just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
