Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
