I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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