Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
