Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
