I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
