I cockslap morals
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
