We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
