I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
