i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm at about main and main street
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
