This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
