You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
