it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
