This girl is more easily done than said...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
