Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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