You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
