I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize