I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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