I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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