if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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