Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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