I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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