So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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