people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
