i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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