Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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