He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
