I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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