Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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