Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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