God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
