9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
vagina is talking i cant
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
