i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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