we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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