he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
3 2 1 whiskey
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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