My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
