I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
