I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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