Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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