David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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