I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
