it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
