this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
