can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
