I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
