Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
