if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
