Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
