all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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