I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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