Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize