Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
