i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
